The Fallacy of Work-Life Balance By Chris Sweet

-Written By Chris Sweet , of "Striving for SuperDad"

Check him out here at Striving For SuperDad!

Fatherhood for millennials.

Fatherhood in modern times feels a bit like one of those frenetic “pickle plays” that occur on the baseball diamond. I find myself constantly running like hell to get back on base safely.  The truth is millennial fathers are juggling a broader range of roles and responsibilities than ever before. And while a greater percentage of females are graduating from college, the expectation that a father be the “breadwinner” still remains prevalent.  All the while, the workplace is increasingly more competitive because of corporations’ need to do more with less, a surplus of qualified workers, and a shift to outsource knowledge workers. In the home, shared domestic duties have become an absolute must in a time where 6 out of every 10 families with children, have both parents working full-time.

Times have changed.

While it is not in our nature to complain, tread lightly if you want to discuss modern fatherhood with your father or grandfather.  While our grandfathers were undeniably working more hours per week on average (1950: 36.9) than we are today (2011: 32.8), the domestic expectations were virtually non-existent. So how do we manage? How do we achieve “work-life balance?”

Dynamic work-life balance.

Balance should be written into my DNA since my astrological sign is Libra, but to call it a daily struggle is an understatement. My wife and I have a 3.5 year old son and a 2.5 year old daughter. We both have demanding corporate jobs in Health IT.  We are a part of a church community, and both enjoy keeping physically active.  I recently came to the realization that my perspective of work-life balance was a bit flawed. I thought, if my wife and I could agree on the percentage of time committed to the different dimensions of our lives, we could achieve the mystical “work-life balance.”  The “a-ha” moment occurred when I realized that the work-life balance equation is dynamic and not static. Life is full of stages and those stages will have unique demands.  Even if you are fortunate to have amazing guidance through mentorship, social networks, and a religious framework, you will never be prepared for what life throws at you.

Step 1 to solving any problem is awareness.

Reflect a moment on your own life. When you are home with your kids, out with your significant other, or simply having lunch with friends, are you thinking about work? If you cannot be present with the given moment, you are actually nowhere. Think about it…If all you can think about is a pending deadline while on a date or playing with your kids, you are missing out on life’s greatest pleasures.

Take a few minutes and do a life inventory on these aspects:

• Family/Social
• Financial
• Health
  • Mental, Emotional, Physical, and Spiritual
• Career

I think this simple exercise of consistently taking inventory of these dimensions and fine-tuning based on the current circumstances allows one to get back in alignment.  It’s been said that where attention goes energy flows. So wherever you are in today’s life-stage, whether it is starting a business, renovating a home, or bringing a new baby into the home, be a man and own it!

So what can we do to maintain dynamic work-life balance?

1. Assess – you cannot change what you do not measure
2. Optimize energy – the ability to sustain mental focus and having physical endurance is paramount being productive
3. Optimize performance – working on the right things, at the right time, schedule retrospectives to learn from mistakes, automate menial tasks, and remove barriers to create more time
4. Optimize recovery – nature, just as our bodies, has natural systems of ebb and flow; ignoring recovery is a huge mistake
5. Schedule time to re-evaluate – seriously, put it on your calendar to take an inventory once a quarter!

Striving for Superdad.

This blog is a journey of self-discovery and self-improvement, but also to create value for others. I genuinely do enjoy helping those I am fortunate enough to have in my life. My hope is that others may learn from my successes and failures so, together, we can be the best fathers to our children, the best husbands/boyfriends, and, in general, being good men.  So, enjoy this “pickle play”we call life because it is truly a spec of dirt to Father Time.

“Once you are a parent, you’re the ghost of your children’s future.” Cooper, Interstellar

K.I.S.S- A Guide to Simple Food Prepping and Cooking

- By Holly Stump and Sumair Bhasin

My motto for healthy eating is K.I.S.S.: Keep It Simple, Stupid. No, YOU aren't stupid, but media, the news, and misinformed sources can be! So don’t make this any harder than it has to be or you’ll just:

a) Default back to your old self-defeating ways

b) Spend way too much money eating out! 

When it comes to food prep, I’m pretty sure we don't have Martha Stewart’s skills, or a criminal record for that matter. If you do have skills, would you be my personal chef? With that being said, we also don't always have the time to make exquisite meals. And because of this I now share with you my own method of keeping this nutrition game simple and enjoyable.

My Five Steps of Food Prep

1) MAKE A PLAN

 The first thing you need to do is plan out your week. Yes, plan! When you're buying fresh foods, we often get overambitious , buy too much, and watch as our nutritious foods rot away. So, here are a few key questions to ask yourself when you go off on your grocery adventures:

a) What carbohydrates, fats, and proteins serve the goals I want to achieve?

b) How many people do I need to feed?

c) Are there any special events this week that I won’t need to cook for (ie. birthday dinners, date nights, work happy hours)?

d) What meals do I absolutely need prepared for my work day?

Once you get clear on this, start thinking about your meals and snacks. What sources of nutrients make up your meals, and how are they apportioned? Buy according to what you need, NOT what you think you need. 

NOTE:  YOU DON’T NEED TO COOK EVERY NIGHT! Be open to eating leftovers and even doubling your recipes so that you’re not a slave to the kitchen. Make that kitchen your ___________ . No stop being so vulgar. Make it your FRIEND!

 2)   Research!

 Yes Research!! Use your expert knowledge of social media to leverage yourself for success. You can dive into Pinterest,  The Almighty Google, Instagram, Blogger, Snapchats, am I forgetting anything? You'll find something that strikes your fancy and supports you in pursuing the best version of yourself.

 Remember this too: Just because something has a bunch of chocolate, cheese, and sugar, doesn't mean you can't vary the ingredients. All you really need to gauge from these recipes are a framework. And by framework I mean : Is it a chili, soup, stir fry, baked, grilled, or a blended food? Once you know your framework you can simply just adjust the variables AKA the types of foods/ingredients that go in to make your meal.

3) Make a List

a    Alright! you've made it this far. You've done the research, and you know what meals you want to cook. You are on your way to get the goods right? But wait, not so fast there! First, make a list of the ingredients required to make the deliciousness that caught your eye while perusing through social media. And no, not their exact list of ingredients. The ones that serve you! 

4) Shop 

I usually do my big shopping trip on Sunday and then I’m ready for the whole week. Try not to get caught up going aisle to aisle. That's surely a recipe for disaster. Stick to the perimeter of the store and you will have minimal temptations as you shop.

5)  Chop and prep

      I cook probably 3 or 4 nights a week. This is what works best for me. However, you can always create bigger bulk meals when you do cook. This way you minimize the frequency of cooking each week. Here is my sample cooking schedule:

Sunday: Once I get home from the grocery store on Sundays, I put everything away and try to knock out one of the big pot meals so I have it ready to go. I also make a breakfast dish so it’s on standby for the week. Sometimes I will also put together a big bowl of green salad ready to pair with snacks or sides for my other meals.

Monday: Regular weeknight meal (ie. baked chicken, broccoli, potatoes).

Wednesday: Regular weeknight meal and/or another big pot meal

Thursday: Regular weeknight meal and/or breakfast

Time to Eat!

Breakfast: 

The two options I go back and forth with are a breakfast casserole/frittata OR a sausage and veggie sauté with an egg on top. Sounds fancy huh? On the flip side it's simple to make!! 

 There are tons of breakfast casseroles on the web – be careful though because you can get sucked into delicious crescent roll crusted cheesy deliciousness. Stick to foods like veggies, turkey sausage, sweet potatoes, eggs, and real cheese (none of that canned stuff). I like to keep my framework but just change out the veggies every week. For example, last week I made a frittata with summer squash, zucchini, tomatoes and onions. This week, I stuck with mushrooms, bell peppers and jalapenos. It's all in the details folks.

Lunch

 I usually plan for one or two big pot meals per week. In my world, a big pot meal could be anything like a skillet meal, stir-fry, soup or chili. These will seriously save your life because you can make it in bulk, store it, and warm it up whenever you need to chow down. Voila! you have a balanced and nutritious meal ready for your consumption. 

Sometimes I even put portions into an entrée size tupperware and have it ready to take with me to work in the morning. It seriously pays to plan ahead.

Dinner:

 I plan 2 or 3 basic meals with all of the main components: protein, veggies, carbs and fat. These vary from week to week depending on how busy I am. Sometimes, I do salmon with a sprinkle of my favorite lemon dill seasoning and throw it in the oven for 15 min. Then there’s days I get fancy and do some elaborate chicken dish with a special sauce I have to make in the food processor. It’s your life, you know what you have time for, so plan accordingly.

 Snacks 

      

      Make sure you pack snack items like fruit, nuts, and my personal favorite, minimally processed turkey jerky. Think about some veggies you would like to pair with your snacks. On a standard week, I have broccoli, asparagus, and/or green beans ready to go. And of course sweet potatoes, cous cous, or brown rice are on standby too.

RECIPES, RECIPES, AND MORE RECIPES!


And of course with out further a-do, here are some recipes to get you started! Enjoy!

Breakfast

Garden Vegetable Frittata (I add browned turkey sausage to this for extra protein): http://frugalanticsrecipes.com/2013/05/garden-vegetable-frittata/

Lunch/Dinner

Summer Vegetable Toastadas: http://www.myrecipes.com/recipe/chicken-summer-vegetable-tostadas-10000001215924/

Coconut Milk Baked Chicken : http://shewearsmanyhats.com/coconut-milk-baked-chicken-recipe/

Shrimp with Zucchini and Cherry Tomatoes (if you don’t have a spiralizer, just slice the zucchini really thin): http://www.skinnytaste.com/2014/04/zucchini-noodles-zoodles-with-lemon.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed:+weightwatcherspointsrecipes+%28Skinnytaste%29

Asian Quinoa Salad (add grilled chicken for a complete meal): http://www.twopeasandtheirpod.com/asian-quinoa-salad/

Honey Spiced Glazed Chicken: http://www.nutmegnanny.com/2011/07/27/honey-spiced-glazed-chicken/

Sides/Dips

Cucumber Salsa (awesome with chips or just by itself for a salad, use Greek yogurt instead of sour cream): http://pkstaples.blogspot.co.uk/2010/06/crisp-cucumber-salsa.html

Baked Asparagus & Mushrooms: http://mcbodyfitness.blogspot.co.uk/2011/12/side-dish-asparagus.html?m=1

Crash Hot Potatoes (So delicious leftover. Can be eaten for breakfast too!): http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2008/06/crash-hot-potatoes/

Roasted Broccoli w/ Lemon & Garlic: http://paleogrubs.com/roasted-broccoli-recipe

Big Pot Meals

Coconut Curry Soup: http://www.melskitchencafe.com/coconut-curry-soup/

Lazy Stuffed Peppers: http://www.cherylstyle.com/showcase/lazy-stuffed-peppers-recipe/

Italian Sausage/Veggie Spaghetti Sauce (or eat it without noodles for an Italian style chili):

Brown 1 lb of turkey/chicken Italian sausage, chopped onion, zucchini, mushrooms, bell peppers, salt, pepper and ¼ teaspoon of red pepper flakes. When the meat is browned and veggies are becoming tender, add a large jar of your favorite spaghetti sauce (I use Classico’s Spicy Red Pepper) and heat through.

And remember just K.I.S.S. :).

The Enemy of Creating Yourself is Resistance!

"The enemy of all creativity is resistance"- Steven Pressfield, "The War of Art"

The inspiration to write this post has already come through me, but I put it off thinking it could be done later. As I am just finishing the book, The War of Art, I realized that I fell under the resistance. I resisted writing this post. So if that's the case then I wonder how many times I have resisted creating the life I truly desire for myself. Have I been missing on all the opportunities to pursue the strongest and healthiest version of myself IN and OUTside the gym? Did I miss out on all the opportunities for me to write a blog, start my own business, open up my own gym, start a podcast, pursue a beautiful woman, and /or create my own website? The quote at the top of the post rings loudly in my head as I find anything and everything to procrastinate and feel comfortable. I know now why I will watch shows, eat comfort food, talk about the hardships of my work, and continually seek more information. It's my way of feeling okay with myself and where I am. And that is FINE, but it's not going to get me where I want to go.

No matter what you may think of yourself, you are blessed with the capacity to create. We all have creative gifts that we have been given. Those that seek to explore and develop them will find meaning in the work they do. Whatever that meaning is, I am certain that it is something that uplifts and fulfills not only your soul, but that of several others. When we aren't pursuing what we want in life, it shows. We are disgruntled with the same 9-5 job, we hate our bosses, Friday is our favorite day!, vacations are glorified, and we wish we could just win the lottery. However, we know that the lottery wouldn't solve all our problems. We have to solve it.

Enter Wellness

There's no better way to initiate our creative pursuits than creating the way you want to look and feel everyday. I don't care what you are doing. Artist, Jewelry designer, engineer, Astrophysicist, Writer, it doesn't matter. If you want to access more of that creative "umph" to do your work, then get out of your own way! Be the healthiest and strongest version of yourself so you aren't tied down by low energy, restlessness, lack of sleep, weak joints, needless trips to the doctor, 5 hour energy drinks, and being owned by prescription meds to feel better for a few hours. This is your number one priority! Hell, it is your birthright to pursue this. Fuck genetics. You can change the expression of your genes if you simply take responsibility for how you move, what you eat, and how you live your life. Okay rant over, back to the post.

Pursuing a continual state of wellness IS overcoming resistance! You are empowering yourself with the tools to look and feel your best so that you can BE your best in whatever it is you do. You always hear the metaphor  "The gym is a metaphor for life". See what I did there? haha, well it is! The barbell, the dumbbell, the stone, the sled, the pullup bar, or the MOVEMENT itself is an opportunity. You can tell your brain to recruit certain muscles, breathe, and send auto-correcting feedback to move the weight in the gym. You either get crushed by it and collapse, or you empower yourself to do what is necessary to overcome it. 

The same goes for nutrition or healthy lifestyle habits. You can choose foods that comfort you in the moment, or you can choose foods that extend your life and optimize performance in every area of your life. The very lifestyle you lead can dictate how "WELL" you feel. In order to continue doing what you want to do, you have to be "WELL" enough to do it. You choose! It's all about overcoming your own resistance to feeling amazing. 

TRAIN

You've heard the old adage "suffer the pain of discipline or suffer the pain of regret", and the many variations thereof. I want to offer a different perspective on how to look at discipline. We have been taught that we have to work hard to get where we want to be. You have to discipline yourself to get shit done right! While there is truth in this, it scares the living bejeezy's out of people. I've heard from some that discipline feels like a drill sergeant shoving a baton up their ass, while he yells that they aren't good enough and they HAVE to be better. The imagery is impeccable. 

I invite you to see it from a different perspective: LOVE. I began to adopt this way of thinking after reading a blog that Strength Coach, Charles Poliquin posted a month ago. He noted that you either love something enough that you will do something about it, or you don't. He used analogies like " You either love eating this krispy kreme to feel good for a few minutes, OR you eat this tasty meal of steak, greens, and quinoa to feel good for a lifetime". We can extend this to you either love the comfort of succumbing to resistance, or you overcome it. I believe that this train of thought really forces you to question your priorities. It also gives you the ability to empower yourself and overcome any obstacle in your life.

You love yourself enough to train the habits necessary to be the healthiest and strongest version of yourself. From this space, anything is possible. Why? Because this character trait that you are developing through pursuing wellness spills over into every single thing you do. 

So do it not only because you have one life to live, but because your dreams, inspirations, and creative aspirations depend on it. 

Overcome resistance my friends,

Sumair

Do Doctor's Have Your Back? : Short Perspective

Perspective: Just because our bodies are resilient, it doesn't mean you trash it with booze, sugar, smoking, and other transient highs. The "I'll wait till shit goes wrong"  attitude is very much in line with the Western Medicine model. Don't get me wrong, there is a time and place for it! However, a big percentage of people that go to the hospital are simply those who have neglected nourishing their bodies, maintaining a healthy lifestyle, and moving!

A recent talk with a friend who is a doctor gave me insight into how they truly operate. Most Doctors aren't incentivized by preventative care. In reality they make money based on how many diagnostic tools, procedures, treatments, and prescribed drugs that they provide. It's about how many patients they can see in a given time, giving them a diagnosis, helping them feel better as soon as possible, and referring them out to specialists if it calls for it.

This equals pills, steroids, surgery, and other direct interventions. This doesn't get rid of the same habits that got you to the hospital in the first place. You haven't addressed the root of the problem!

Here are some questions to get you thinking a little deeper about what affects your health. How often is the doctor that you are seeing more out of shape and stressed out than you are? They then follow up with make sure you exercise more and eat more vegetables. Well what the hell does that even mean right? And then these pills are supposed to make me feel better...what about these side effects? Take a second to think about what the answers to these questions would really mean for you. The fact that I ask you these questions points to a higher truth when it comes to your health. IT'S YOU! You have to be your own health advocate. So it's time you started doing so.

My invitation to people is to take responsibility for your own health first! If you are going to the doctor because you have high blood pressure, low testosterone, high triglycerides, your liver enzymes are elevated, you have colon issues, you haven't had a bowel movement in days, you are constantly low on energy, then you are most likely abusing your body (These are just a FEW common examples I commonly see). You basically waited till shit went wrong and now you have to deal with the consequences. You can either get to the root of the problem, or mask it with drugs until you realize you HAVE to get to the root of the problem. You choose.

Much love,

                Sumair

I Have Low T.....Now What?

"Over the past 2 decades, the average man's testosterone has dropped by 22%"-John Romaniello , Author of  Engineering the Alpha.

FELLAS!!

There is an obvious trend going on here and it's a testament to the lifestyles we lead nowadays. It's no longer just an "age" thing either. Kids in their early 20s are having low sex drive, erectile dysfunction, low energy, disinterest in life, and a slew of other health problems. No you don't have to resort to pills for the rest of your life. There is MUCH more you can do before you take that route.

So here is my call out to all men to take responsibility for your OWN HEALTH first. Here are just a few things you can start doing to turn your life around:

1) Build Awareness- If you aren't sure whether you have low T, get a blood test. Find out what your T value means and where it should be.

2) TAKE MASSIVE ACTION- Awareness is not enough, you must act.

a) Cut out refined sugar. Yes completely. It is not serving you right now. It's making you weaker.

b) Consume your whole eggs, nuts, avocados, and meats (white and red). Worried about cholesterol? Don't be. It is a precursor to making testosterone in the body. More than that, it is been shown that high fructose corn syrup, refined sugars, and processed foods are the cause of heart disease, high cholesterol, and diabetes. NOT dietary cholesterol.

c) Eat vegetables with every meal if you can. Don't like them? Go here and invest in http://www.amazon.com/Gourmet-Nutrition-Cookbook-Food-Lover/dp/097743091X . It'll change the way you look at "healthy food". Everything I've had from this book tastes delicious.

d) Drink more water. Aim to get 1/2 your body-weight in ounces a day. If you are peeing yellow, up your intake. You are made up of this stuff folks! So get in there.

e) Stop binge drinking on alcohol. It's destroying your testosterone, and is not doing much for fat loss. If anything cut it all out for now.

f) Sleep more! Turn off your laptop, cellphone,  and lamps/lights at 11p. Or atleast dim them. It's only keeping you up at night, increasing levels of cortisol (stress hormone) in the body, disrupting your sleep, and of course affecting your hormones. You need this time to rebuild and repair your body!

g) UNPLUG from the MATRIX- With all the distractions of our life, it's easy to get sucked into lights, telephones, work, Tv shows, work...and more..work. You need time to rest, so make that time for yourself. Go out for a hike, sit and meditate, do some breathing work, take some time off, play some music, and just do something that makes you happy.

h) Get some SUN!

I) HAVE SEX! lots of it...with real people (consenting of course :) ) Cut out the porn. It's like you are mentally having sex with tons of women and so when it comes time to have sex with a real woman....caput...you feel nothing. It doesn't stimulate you enough.

J) Lift heavy weights and odd objects. Incorporate compound movements into your workout routine. Deadlifts, squats, Lunges, Box jumps, Hip Thrusts, Pullups, and Pushups will be your friends.

Even if you were to implement some of these into your life, it will start making a difference. What are you waiting for? Don't wait for another drastic health condition to pop up. This is an opportunity to take the reigns and dominate the hell out of your life!

On your side,
                   Sumair

And more articles for you if you want to know more in detail:

http://www.precisionnutrition.com/testosterone-replacement

http://www.precisionnutrition.com/all-about-testosterone

http://www.poliquingroup.com/ArticlesMultimedia/Articles/Article/934/Five_Simple_Ways_to_Raise_Testosterone_Levels_for_.aspx

http://www.poliquingroup.com/Tips/tabid/130/entryid/1953/Tip-560-Natural-Tips-To-Increase-Testosterone-To-Get-Leaner-and-Stronger.aspx

Runner's Guide to Staying Healthy PART 1

"My knees hurt, my feet are bruised, my ankles and calves are tight, I can't lose this extra fat, and I feel stressed all the time"- A runner's nightmare....

If you've ever done long distance running for a LONG period of time, you have probably experienced some of the above symptoms. I see that this is your passion. You love the feeling of running because it gives you a sense of freedom and decompression from everything in your life. And this is just one overarching theme I see with a lot of runners I know. There are several reasons behind why one loves to run. It can be the feeling of being able to go anywhere and everywhere as you explore the world around you, it could be the sense of freedom you feel when you are out there, and it could even be the euphoric high that you receive after you have finished your session. This is great, but there are some nagging issues that are being neglected. As a result, your body is breaking down at the hands of your undying love of beating away at the ground.


Now before I go on, this is NOT an anti-running blog post meant to steer you away from what you love to do. However, there are a lot of repercussions to performing a repetitive movement for long periods of time. This goes for any type of athlete/movement! A basketball player taking jumpers, football players enduring tackles, pitchers throwing constantly, power-lifters enduring large loads on on their body, and the list goes on.

There is a pattern that is occurring as you take one step after another on the running surface of your choice. You are overloading particular muscle groups, your nervous system and metabolic system are being taxed, and your hormonal system is under a lot of stress. It's just the nature of how the human body works under any stress for long periods of time. You do something over and over, it will often wear out. It's like the car that you drive for miles and miles, and eventually it needs repairs, replacements, adjustments, and constant checkups! What do you need? You need balance!

Ok now that I have prefaced you with this, lets address these issues.

Muscular Imbalances

If running is the only thing you do, you are setting yourself up for pain, discomfort, and other nagging issues. The first thing you have to realize is that this is all self-imposed. You don't have to continue to do it, but you do because you love to do it! I get that. However, just like a car wears out after you put miles and miles on it, so will your body if you don't take care of the whole system!

Your Glutes (your bum) and the muscles surrounding your hip get the shaft when running. So does your back, deep abdominal muscles, and postural muscles of the shoulders and neck. What you will commonly in unbalanced runners are a slew of these symptoms which can be called upper crossed and lower crossed syndrome.


From the diagram to your right, you can see all the muscles that get neglected and weak :( ! Poor guys....

 And because there are muscles getting weak, opposing muscles have to tighten and spasm to hold your posture in alignment. A common mistake in a lot of runners is that they just stretch and foam roll their tight areas and continue running like they've done themselves a ton of good. That doesn't do jack sh*% about the underlying problem though! Your body is spasming because it wants to PULL you back into healthy alignment! It's saying STOP! Take care of me.

As this happens, your joints become subjected to stresses that should be taken up by your musculature. However, your body is simply just trying to keep itself in proper position. How is it supposed to protect your joints as well if you muscular strength is all over the place. Here's the truth: IT CAN'T! Not if you keep re-inforcing the same motor pattern of pounding away at the pavement! Say hello to injury :(.

What do you do about Imbalance?

So what the hell do you do first? Your first order of business is to lay off the running. Not completely, but you NEED to focus on strengthening the muscles that are SCREAMING for your attention. Glutes, deep and superficial abdominals, and your back and shoulders. Then stretch/foam roll/massage the muscles that are overly tight. Namely, your quads, calves, hip flexors, anterior shoulders/chest, and hamstrings.

After you have done this, begin to incorporate all planes of movement into your workouts. Your body is designed to move in multi-directional patterns. It will tell you when you are taking yourself away from it's natural state. If you are pulling, you better be pushing, If you are flexing you need to be extending, and If you are walking/running you better be squatting and lifting. 

A good training regimen could look like this : 2 days a week of strength training/stretching (should be more like 3!), 3 days of running (one long run, and two medium runs), and 2 days dedicated to mobility/yoga/recovery/structural work! You.Will.Feel.Much.Better!

What exercises do I do?

I could sit here and list them all out but it would take forever. So I'm going to list some that I think should take utmost priority

Strength

1) Barbell Glute-hip bridges and all variations thereof

2) Deadlifts

3) Barbell back Squats and Front squats (If knees bother you, start with glute hip bridges)

4) Cable rows, Single arm rows, Y-Rows, Face-pulls

5) RKC Planks, Ab strap Knee raises, Stability ball pass backs

Mobility/ Flexibility/Pre-hab-Yoga is a great option. If not, here are some of my top ones to do

1) Lateral band walks

2) Single leg glute hip bridges

3) Hip flexor stretch

4) Split stance adductor stretch

5) Foam roll your IT-bands, quads, calfs, hip flexors, and ankles

6) Ankle dorsiflexion

Don't know what these look like? Youtube to the rescue! Look these up, and/OR find a trainer that can assist you and ensure proper form throughout all these movements (most recommended!). 

This is just one piece of the puzzle! There are many more things to look at. Yes, you do have to think. Why? Because its the only body you have! Stay tuned for Part 2 where we talk about structural imbalances, manual therapy, and metabolic stress/nutrition!

Change is SCARY (Personal Story)

I may have scared off a few potential readers already with my title, but for the ones that are still reading this, thank you. Why? It's because what I am about to share with you is something about myself that I have felt ashamed of, disgusted by, and dejected about for years. I can already feel the fear seeping into my bones as I hesitantly type away on the keyboard. So here goes....

Masks

Are you completely yourself when you are around other people? Or do you project a version of yourself that you think people would find desirable or attractive? Ever since I was a child, I have been weary and cautious about what people think of me. I have often kept an arms distance away from the friends I have made over the years. Sometimes I feel as though people don't want to see the real me that I am slowly unearthing. That shit is weird anyway right? It's this constant feeling that I'm not good enough. Like I have to become more or learn more before I could be worthy enough of having a stimulating conversation with someone That was the story I told myself daily and still tell myself from time to time. So what do we all do when we just want others to like us? We try to fit in. That's exactly what I sought out to do.

This includes but is not limited to:

-Trying to sound cool but feeling like a complete ass inside

-Eating sugar/fat/salt like it was my job

-Drinking to feel socially accepted and to summon enough courage to talk to women

-Playing videogames like Final Fantasy 7 and Diablo 2 so that I could feel like a complete badass (only to escape my own insecurities).

-Pursuing Medical School because I thought that would help me make money, find the woman of my dreams, and gain respect from my peers. I mean that is the right path for anyone of South Asian Descent..atleast that's what I'm told.

These qualities created a mask-like persona of who I thought I had to be like to be accepted by society. Not who I REALLY wanted to be.

"MMMMMMM CAKE"

Enter Hidradenitis Suppurativa/Cystic Acne

From the time I have been a teenager till age 24, I continued on the same "masked" and destructive path.It got to a point where my health began to deteriorate. If I had heard the song that goes "so what we get drunk, so what we don't sleep, so what we get high...that's how it supposed to be...living young and wild and free" back then, it would be my JAM! But it wasn't supposed to be that way and it showed. I was always tired, couldn't focus, and got sick more often than I would have liked. Then things got serious.

I started to develop weird boils, cystic acne, and scars all over my chest. They hurt a lot, often had pus coming out of them, and made me feel like I was some sort of freak. It made me want to isolate myself even more for fear of what people would think. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, I developed a rare condition called Hidradenitis Suppurativa (HS). Tongue-twister huh? It's a disease where the sweat glands underneath your armpits become blocked causing painful invaginations in the skin. Exhibit A below:

Often times, they seep out pus, blood, and other cheesy substances (leave it up to your imagination). When I first discovered what it was, I had to go to the doctor. They tried everything to help me heal my skin conditions. Nothing worked. No steroids, antibiotics, or washes healed me. "You are just going to have to try to keep it all at bay with medication" they said. I have never felt so low than in that moment. I went home and began to think of how I would deal with this while hiding it from everyone I knew. How could I reveal this to anyone without feeling utterly embarrassed, unattractive, and abnormal. I wanted to fit in after all right? 

I would come home sometimes with my armpits soaked in blood and pus and my chest so red and inflamed that I simply wanted to give up on life. How did I cope? Well, the same destructive lifestyle of booze, junk food, pursuing the American Dream, suppressing emotions,and binge exercising. Did it help? NOPE.

As I went back to get a routine blood test, they said my testosterone levels were well below the normal healthy 24 year old male. Boom another blow to my ego! All the while, I was trying to pursue a career in fitness...IRONIC. How the hell was I supposed to help my clients, when I couldn't even help myself?! In my depression and feeling of hopelessness, there was also crystal clear clarity. Funny how that happens huh? It was like I could see the dichotomy of my situation. I could either relinquish my health to the woes of my conditions OR do something positive about it. It was really as simple as that. A DECISION. I took the latter.

Embrace The Best Version Of Yourself

I dove head first into Fitness/Nutritional/Health/Personal development books and articles by the likes of John Berardi, Tony Robbins, Alan Aragon, Paul Chek, and Charles Poliquin. I even took to the health forums sifting through different people's experiences HS/cystic acne. I sifted through youtube videos, holistic health practitioners, acupuncture, prayer...you name it! Each time I found a piece of advice worth experimenting with, I immersed myself in it. Through this practice, I found what worked and what didn't. When something did give me positive results, it gave me confidence to keep pushing forward.

 Each time my health improved, I noticed parts of my body that I neglected or took for granted. I became aware of them and began to really appreciate the intricacies of what made my body function the way it did. I started to eliminate my destructive habits, create supportive environments for my goals, and pursue a stronger version of myself. Hell, I even met a wonderful woman who accepted me just as I was. It allowed me to accept myself and express emotions that were deeply buried within me. There were several moments of cathartic release and even that was accepted. It made me feel like there was something wonderful on the other side of all of this.

Transformation Through Healing

One would say I took upon a complete lifestyle transformation. I changed the way I ate, lived, talked to people, conversed with myself, and the way I dealt with my emotions. Don't get me wrong, the process was difficult! I found myself having to make decisions that either served me or didn't. Every time I was confronted with these decisions, I often times asked myself "Is this going to help me get to where I want?" Sometimes I decided F*%$ it..and relapsed. Other times, I took the high road. What was consistent through all of it was a deeper understanding of myself and what I needed to feel my best. So what came of all of this you ask?

I'm the strongest I have ever been in the gym, my testosterone is back to optimum levels, and I have a thriving personal training/holistic health coaching business. Of course my HS and cystic acne have healed as well! I'm left with a bit of scarring but nothing compared to the pain I was in a few years ago. Did I want to give up? Pretty much everyday. Was it worth it? It sure as heaven was!

So when someone asks me why I'm so passionate about helping people become the best versions of themselves, I tell them my story. Where ever you are in life, know that there are people that go through similar struggles. More importantly, know that you can do something about it. You simply have to decide what you want for yourself. Once you become clear on what you want, take massive action! The results will surely follow.

Much love,

                Sumair